Once again it has been a while since my last post. A myriad of reasons why, of course. I would love to say that I have just been too busy. While this might have some truth to it, if I am being honest to myself it is because I have been battling some inner demons. Those demons that tell me that not only can I not do this, but that I can’t do a number of things. I have been feeling overwhelmed in my work life, which has trickled… poured… into my personal life, and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. The demons were winning, but thanks to the support around me, I beat those demons, and in the end, blew them away with my demon seeking rocket launcher.
It is not easy having high expectations of yourself. It is not easy moving from an executive level position to an entry level position, despite all the self-talk that it would be a piece of cake. It turns out I have an ego! I sometimes suspected I did, but I was never really sure about it. I have much to learn, not least about myself. It is hard to get beyond middle-age and find this out about yourself.
To add to my professional-related demons, I decide I need to become a writer. While the woman is down, let’s remind her of a goal she has always aspired to but that time is running out for. Guess what? She needs to start at the beginning with that too. Maybe the universe is throwing life lessons at me… better late than never. Right!
The choices we make! I could go on, but I won’t. I know how lucky I really am.
So! The solution is to get on and do it, whatever ‘it’ might be. It turns out that a couple of minor accomplishments at work was enough to allow me to see the bigger picture and bring the passion to the fore again.
A major opportunity to collaborate with a respected and sought-after author was just around the corner. The moon and stars aligned and with hubby’s support I am going for it. Nothing like putting yourself under pressure to really test your inner strength. I will share more of this in coming months as it all unfolds.
So how do you stare your inner demons down and come out the other side smiling? You listen to those who love and care for you. You cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to fall off the radar for a little while. Meanwhile you get all those little ducks in a row, although they don’t even have to be in a row… but being in the same paddock or pond, would probably be helpful. You acknowledge that what you are feeling is your inner negative talk and things are not as helpless as they seem. Of course, it is not really as easy as this sometimes, but you do what you can do.
Fight those inner demons. I can assure you that the person you most admire is also fighting their own inner demons. So this is as much of the truth that I can share, but hey, it is some truth, and that is a really big step in the right direction.
Time to get writing – whether it is for professional or personal goals, it is writing, and therefore another step forward in my writing career.
Cheers for now.